Made Enough Mistakes To Last a Lifetime
by Tarafina
Summary: Tim finally has the life he wanted; living large in Texas with his own house and a good woman, too bad his insecurities are rearing their ugly head in hopes of sabotaging the best thing he's got.


**Title**: Made Enough Mistakes to Last a Lifetime (But You Ain't One)  
**Category**: Friday Night Lights  
**Genre**: Romance/Drama  
**Ship**: Julie/Tim  
**Rating**: Explicit/NC-17 [**This is the scrubbed up, non-explicit version: for smut, visit my LJ or AO3 account, under sarcastifc_fina.**]  
**Prompt**: Picture  
**Word** **Count**: 11,263  
**Summary**: Tim finally has the life he wanted; living large in Texas with his own house and a good woman, too bad his insecurities are rearing their ugly head in hopes of sabotaging the best thing he's got.

_**Made Enough Mistakes to Last a Lifetime (But You Ain't One)**_  
-1/1-

Tim rolled over onto his side, his hair falling in a tangled sheet over his eyes. His arm reached out in the haze of sleep, searching for the warm body that always hogged the covers. He blinked his eyes open and gave his head a shake, tossing his hair out of his line of vision when he came up empty. He frowned, staring down at the space beside him, her pillow lying flat and unused, her side of the sheets still smooth and untouched. The blanket was tangled around his waist and for a moment he felt the distinct lack of her cold toes pressed up against his ankles, sucking up his heat.

It took him a minute to remember what happened and he fell back against his pillow with a loud sigh, his arm tucked up beneath his head.

There was a fight, about the living arrangements and how expensive it was to have two places when they really only needed one. He dragged a hand down his face and scrubbed his fingers over his jaw. He and Julie had been together near on two years and things were good; better than he'd have them with anyone else. Truth was, he couldn't really imagine his life without her anymore. Something that was hard to wrap his head around considering…

Julie Taylor was out of his league, he knew that. Never stopped him much before. When she ambled back into Dillon, he hadn't given it much thought. They lived different lives, if their paths crossed now, without high school or football to make it happen, it'd be a rare thing indeed. But they did run into each other, just in passing the first few times. He didn't expect her to stick around long. If Julie was anything, she was the type of person who wanted out, wanted better, and Dillon just wasn't in the plan for her. He got it. Didn't agree with it, least not for himself, but he understood the drive to do and be better than circumstances might allow. Tim was always made for Dillon, he'd tried the outside world and it just didn't fit him.

Julie stuck around though, much to his surprise. She got a job at the newspaper, pushing boundaries with her writing, stirring the pot in some small-minded cases, and staying far, far away from anything to with football.

Their first date was over a shared chocolate Swizzler. Julie always complained that it wasn't a date, since all they did was sit on the curb by her broke down car, share a milkshake, and talk, but Tim called it like he saw it. That was the start…

_"Kickin' it ain't gonna change anything," Tim called out as he walked across the parking lot, tugging up the sleeves of his shirt as he went._

_Julie whirled around, her eyes wide, long blonde hair swinging at her back. She had a tall cup in hand, straw stuck between her teeth. "Tim, hey," she said, rocking side to side on her feet, eyes glancing over the parking lot before landing back on him, brow furrowed. "What're you doing here?"_

_"Looks like I'm helpin' out a damsel in distress," he teased, mouth quirked up on one side as he eyed her car thoughtfully, crossing his arms over his chest, cradling one elbow in the palm of his hand._

_She snorted. "Pretty sure your heroism is lost here… She's dead." Her shoulders slumped. "And I just wasted money on an oil change too…" She rolled her eyes. "I beg for one more month and she dies before I even finish my prayer."_

_He chuckled under his breath. "Welcome to my world," he muttered, rapping his knuckles against the trunk. "Engine problems or…?"_

_"Try whole car problems…" She offered her car a glare and sighed. "I've been saving up for a replacement but…" She laughed derisively. "Too much to ask for, I guess."_

_"Waitin' on a tow then?" he wondered._

_She nodded, chewing on her lip. "Not much else to do."_

_He hummed before walking over to the curb just to the left of her car and took a seat, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked up at her and gave her a nod before angling his head to the space next to him._

_Julie raised an eyebrow. "Is that your polite way of asking me to sit with you?" she asked on a scoff, even as she crossed the few steps between them and sat down._

_He half-grinned at her. "Can't fix your car for you, least I can do is sit with you while you wait."_

_"Yeah?" She eyed him, amused. "Might just win that knight in shining armor award yet…"_

_He laughed under his breath, ducking his head, eyes wandering the pavement in front of them as he linked his fingers and tugged on them. "How's Coach been?" he wondered._

_She hummed, sucking back a long drag of her milkshake, tipping her head in thought. "All right," she said, licking a dab of chocolate from her lower lip. She shrugged. "Stressed, head full of football, usual."_

_He nodded, watching her a moment, her hair dancing a little in the breeze. "And you?"_

_She looked over at him._

_"Didn't peg you for stickin' around long," he said._

_"Ah…" She smiled sarcastically. "You and me both."_

_"So?" He quirked an eyebrow. "Why are you?"_

_"Are we getting deep?" she wondered teasingly, reaching over to sock him in the arm playfully. "Out here in the Alamo Freeze parking lot…"_

_He shrugged a shoulder. "Doesn't really matter where we are… Question's still gonna be there."_

_She turned her eyes down and focused on the torn threads of her jeans, frayed over her knees. "I don't know," she said, her voice quieter than usual. Brow furrowed, she continued, "I used to dream about the day I'd get out, y'know? Had it circled on my calendar, counted it down in my head, but… I got out and I went to college and it… It was amazing." She smiled, turning to look at him. "It was freedom and no football and just… I- I don't know. It was like I could be whoever I wanted to be, y'know?"_

_He nodded slowly. "Yeah."_

_"But then… Then I started to miss home and school wasn't what I expected and I just… I came home, to visit, get some perspective, and I don't know… I _did_, it was just on Dillon rather than me…" She cast her eyes over the dark parking lot, lamps lit up and bouncing off the small collection of cars parked around them. "When you're not in it, the high school rush and the football thing, it just…" She shook her head. "Dillon is home and it's not… the _worst _place to be," she said on a laugh. Ducking her head, she shrugged. "I don't know."_

_"No, I get it." He watched her, her hair falling to curtain around her pretty face. "I get it."_

_"Yeah?" She tucked her hair back behind an ear and looked up from the corner of her big, brown eyes._

_His mouth twitched. "What? Just 'cause I always wanted to stay in Dillon doesn't mean I didn't get how heavy it all was…"_

_She leaned back. "I guess with all those eyes on you on the field it was heavier for you than me," she admitted. _

_"Could be," he agreed. "Could feel pretty awesome too."_

_She smiled. "When you were winning."_

_"Always aimin' for it."_

_"Well, you met expectations for the most part, I guess."_

_"Yeah, but it never felt like it when it was happening…" He frowned, shaking his head, brow furrowing heavily. "Get used to drowning it out, all that noise, drink too much, sleep in late, hand your homework off to whatever pretty face has her hand out…" He ground his teeth and shrugged, tugging on his fingers. "Then it's Friday and you gotta bring it all in, gotta take 'em down and run the ball and live up to all the hype…"_

_"Do you ever regret it?" she wondered, peering at him._

_"Is that the reporter in you comin' out, Little Taylor?" he teased, putting on a smirk._

_She rolled her eyes. "Do you see me takin' notes?" she snarked._

_He laughed under his breath, half-grinning; he liked it when she got riled up, that flicker of defiance lighting up her eyes. Licking his lips, he said earnestly, "Nah. I don't regret it." He turned to look at her. "Not a second of it."_

_She nodded, letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, me either." She shook her cup, stirring the Swizzler inside. "I mean, I made my mistakes, said things I shouldn't have, _did _things I definitely shouldn't've… But it was all the experience, right?"_

_"I dunno, tryin' to make out with me with your dad down the hall was probably a suicide mission," he argued._

_"Hey!" she exclaimed, her cheeks flushed. "We don't talk about that!"_

_He chuckled deeply. "What happened to no regrets?"_

_"Shut up," she muttered._

_"That ain't hospitable… Especially with me sittin' here, tryn'a keep an eye on you while you wait on your tow…"_

_Her nose wrinkled. "What happened to doing something out of the kindness of your heart?"_

_He smirked. "Might not have one."_

_She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "That tortured soul act won't work on me…" _

_"No?" He grinned._

_She shook her head. "We lived together, remember? And you were one of my dad's favorites…" She bit the end of her straw. "He happens to have pretty good taste."_

_"Pretty good," he repeated, amused._

_"Well, he's not without fault," she said, shrugging._

_He hummed. "Don't know about that. He was pretty untouchable as I remember it."_

_"Well, you took some hits to the head along the way," she reminded._

_He laughed, head ducking, hair falling in his face._

_"Here," she said, holding her hand out._

_He looked over, an eyebrow raised._

_She jiggled the cup. "Well? You wanted a thanks for being a gentleman, didn't you?"_

_"Can't say it usually comes in milkshake form," he said, but reached out and took it from her, leaning back as he took the straw between his lips. He could feel the indents of her teeth on it with his tongue as he took a long drink. _

_She perched her chin on her hand and watched him. "Taste like gratitude?" she wondered, brows raised smartly._

_"Tastes like chocolate…" He smirked and added, "And cherry chapstick."_

_She dabbed her bottom lip with her tongue, her eyes dropping from his to stare at his hand around the cup._

_He passed it back to her. "Always been partial to cherry," he said._

_She glanced at him, gave a scoffing laugh, and took the cup, letting the straw linger against her lips for a few seconds. "So where were you headed when you found me?" she wondered._

_He shrugged. "Nowhere."_

_She looked at him skeptically. "You spend a lot of time cruising the Alamo Freeze parking lot?" she wondered, lips twitching._

_"Just like to drive around lookin' for damsels..."_

_She rolled her eyes. "I don't want to hurt your ego, but I would've been just fine," she muttered._

_"Now see, that _does _hurt… I was just tryin' to be a good citizen."_

_"Mm-hmm…" She handed the milkshake back to him. _

_He grinned and took it. "You get an ETA on when that tow was comin'?"_

_Julie shrugged, frowning out over the lot. "I called 'em about an hour ago."_

_"An _hour_?" he said, eyes wide. "The hell are they doin' takes that long to get here?"_

_She shrugged. "Busy night?"_

_"Can't be that busy," he scoffed. "When Billy and I had the shop up and running, we never took that long…" He raised an eyebrow. "And you know I take my time gettin' anywhere."_

_She laughed._

_"You should call 'em up and complain," he told her, kicking one of his legs out, the heel of his boot scraping on the pavement. "Might get a free tow out of it."_

_"Doubt it," she said, but dug through her purse for her cell phone. "Worth trying though."_

_Tim watched her as she dialed, face full of concentration, chewing her lip and tapping her foot as she waited for someone to pick up. "Hi! Yes! Uh, I called about an hour ago, I need a tow, Alamo Freeze parking lot…" She nodded. "Yeah and I understand that but it's been an hour… Last I called, you all said it'd be ten, twenty minutes tops…" She frowned, rolling her eyes and running a hand through her hair. "So they haven't even left, is that what you're saying?"_

_Tim frowned and then held his hand out._

_She batted it away._

_"I'm sure it _has _been busy," she said into the phone, exasperated. "But maybe you can see it from where I'm coming, I've been in a parking lot for—" Cut off, she ground her teeth before her voice started to rise. "Well I don't see how you expect to be making any money when you don't even leave the garage when you say you are. I—"_

_Sighing, Tim reached again and this time grabbed the phone while Julie was getting progressively more pissed._

_He held a finger up from the drink cup to ask her to give him a second. "'Lo," he said into the phone. "Yeah, hey, listen, what towing place is this?" He nodded, smiling. "Hell, Brady, is that you? It's Tim Riggins…" He laughed. "Yeah, yeah, was a good game, close one… Uh-huh…" _

_They shot the shit, going over recent football games, for a few minutes before Julie started giving him the stink-eye. "S' good to hear. Listen, my girl's been out here about an hour, she's got a dead car on her hands… Nah, she's not expecting a fix-up. It's dead weight. But we needed it towed off Alamo Freeze property and probably down to the scrap yard. You get a guy out here in ten and I got a cold sack of beer waitin' for him…" He laughed. "Yeah, well, you tell 'im to share with ya, how's that?" He looked over to see Julie huffing, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. "All right, thanks man… Yeah, you have a good one too."_

_After hanging up, he handed her back the phone. "Ten minutes," he said. "_And _it's free, to make up for the wait."_

_"Unbelievable." She tucked her phone away. "Looks like your charm works on everyone, even crotchety old men."_

_His mouth curved up on one side. "Brady's good people. Been in business longer than me or you've been alive… Just got a few dumb kids workin' under him."_

_She grunted before pushing up to her feet and sighing._

_He watched her, brow furrowed. "You still got ten minutes to waste," he reminded._

_"No, I have ten minutes to get beer," she said._

_He waved it off. "I got it in my truck, don't worry about it."_

_"Ahh…" She retook her seat, smiling. "So that's what you were doing. Beer run."_

_He offered her shake back to her, watching as she popped the lid off to peer inside and stir the straw around. "Beer and pretty girls in trouble… Sounds like my life's motto."_

_She looked over at him as she drew the straw out and licked it clean. "No regrets, remember?"_

_He eyed her, smiling slowly. "That comes later… When you're in the thick of it, feels like a whole lot of regret."_

_"Depends on the girl," she said, tucking the straw back into the cup. "And how much beer."_

_He chuckled. "Wise words."_

_She shrugged, grinning. "Well I did grow up hearing all my dad's inspirational speeches… Guess some of it stuck."_

_"Worse people to take after." He reached over, grabbed the straw and pulled it up, leaning over to just barely catching the glob of milkshake sliding off the end. He smiled as it landed on his chin and licked it up._

_She laughed, turning to face him better and reaching across to wipe at his chin with her thumb. "Can't take you anywhere," she joked._

_He half-grinned before leaning down and licking the melted chocolate from her thumb, watching her face as she flushed, her eyes falling to watch his tongue swirl against her skin. When he pulled back, he dropped the straw back into the cup. _

_"I was wrong," he said. At her confused expression, he explained, "Thank you milkshake's more effective than I thought."_

_She tried, and failed, to stifle a smile, turning to face forward._

_He stared at her profile, eyes turned down, long lashes brushing the tops of her cheek. The lamplight made her hair look shinier than usual and highlighted the angles of her face, the hollow of her throat. Julie'd always been pretty; even as a righteous teenager, lovesick over Seven. But she'd grown up into a beautiful woman. Kind of woman who'd get him in trouble, and deep. Kind of beautiful his brother would warn him off of, old patterns rearing their ugly head._

_But as the tow truck pulled into the lot, lights bouncing, early at the promise of beer, he stood with her and felt the familiar well of regret in the pit of his stomach. Only this wasn't over getting tangled up with the wrong girl. This was walking away from something, someone, that might just be good for him._

_She looked up at him. "Well, thanks for sitting with me… And talking the tow company into doing their job," she said, rolling her eyes._

_"Yeah, no worries…" He glanced over at the tow getting into position to back up behind her car before looking back at her. "I'm gonna grab that beer, you wanna join me?"_

_She smiled up. "Sure. It can be my turn to keep an eye on you," she said, falling into step with him._

_Tim laughed under his breath, grinning as they walked down the lot toward his truck._

_"So how are you gonna get around, now that you don't have a car?" he wondered, looking over at her._

_She frowned. "Until I can save up for a new one, I guess I'll be getting real cozy with the bus."_

_He nodded. "And tonight? How're you gettin' home?"_

_She shrugged. "I figured the tow guy would drop me off. Call a taxi if he can't."_

_Tim hummed. "Why don't I drive you home tonight? Brady said he'd tow the car in until arrangements can be made with the junkyard. If you're sure she can't be fixed anyway." _

_"She was running on a prayer at the end," she said, shaking her head. "They can look, but I don't think there's any saving her." She frowned disappointedly._

_He reached over, hand falling low on her back. "Cheer up, Taylor… You'll have a new car in no time."_

_"Suppose," she said, sighing._

_He slid his hand up and squeezed her shoulder, her soft hair brushing his arm. "You want that ride?"_

_She looked up at him and smiled lightly. "Sure."_

_"All right, but don't get used to it." He winked at her. "Gotta keep my options open… Who knows how many damsels are out there waitin' on their prince?"_

_She chuckled, grinning. "Yeah, you're a real catch, Tim…" She raised an eyebrow. "I should be honored."_

_"S'okay," he said, reaching over and plucking the milkshake cup from her. "Got all the gratitude I need right here." He tipped it back and finished it off, licking his lips clean. As they paused next to his truck and he dug in the bed for the case of beer, he told her, "Tasted better off your skin."_

_She looked up at him, her eyes a little wide. "Something to remember for next time," she murmured._

_He grinned._

_A honk in the distance drew their attention back to the tow truck._

_"C'mon, Little Taylor… Gotta pay off your beer tab and get you home."_

_Rolling her eyes, she followed after him. "So gallant," she said._

_He slung an arm around her shoulders. "Welcome."_

_She snorted, smiling all the same, and slowly, tentatively, he felt her arm wind around her waist._

_He grinned to himself._

_No regrets._

Things progressed from there. He drove her home that night and the next day he brought her down to clear out her car before it was towed to the junk yard. She was all smiles and teasing and socking him in the arm; she always ducked her head, her hair falling in her face, and his hands twitched, wanting to reach out and brush it back. He gave her a ride to work a few times or home whenever he saw her waiting at the bus stop. He had his eye out for her, joking that she was his most helped 'damsel.' It was a few weeks before he asked her out on a real date, ignoring his brother's echoing words of warning that it would blow up in his face; that it always did and Julie Taylor was just another Lyla waiting to happen. He figured, being that it was two years later and they were still together, that Billy was dead wrong and he'd finally made the right choice, finally got himself figured out.

His empty bed said otherwise.

He shoved up, sniffing and scrubbing a hand back through his hair as he shoved the blanket off and sat at the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees. The alarm clock on the end table had 3:30 glaring at him in bright red. Climbing off his bed, he scratched at his stomach and left his room, wincing at how cold the hard woods felt under his bare feet. Jules was always telling him they should get throw carpets and he never took it seriously until the middle of the damn night. There were slippers somewhere; Julie got them for him last Christmas. "So you'll stop complaining," she'd teased him, rolling her eyes.

The house was dark as he shuffled down the hallway, stopping in the bathroom for a piss, squinting as he flicked the light on. He flipped the lid up and pressed a hand to the wall to steady himself, sighing sleepily. After he flushed, he knocked the seat back into place and smiled to himself absently. He could still hear Julie's angry shout as she fell in the toilet when he forgot in the beginning.

_"You all right in there?" he asked, knocking his knuckles on the door._

_"You left the seat up!" she exclaimed._

_It took him a second to get what she meant before he started laughing._

_"It's not funny, Tim!" she yelled at him through the door._

_"Never complained before when I got you wet," he called back._

_"That's gross and I'm not talking to you until you learn how to use the toilet."_

_He chuckled under his breath. "Use it just fine, Jules. Seems to me, you're the one havin' trouble."_

_After a little banging around and the tap running as she washed her hands, she stomped out of the bathroom. "Don't touch me!" she snapped, slapping at his hands as she walked by._

_He sighed. "C'mon, Jules…"_

_"Don't 'Jules' me." She rolled her eyes. "I fell in a toilet because of you!"_

_He bit his lip to keep from grinning._

_She glared at him. "It's not funny!"_

_Keeping his mouth shut, he shrugged. _

_Huffing at him, she walked off, muttering under her breath._

_Which would be happening a lot in future, at least until he got tired of being swatted away and learned how to put up the damn seat down. _

His eyes were half-shut as he made his way into the kitchen, flicking the light on and blinking against it as he made his way over to the fridge. He bypassed the beer on the second shelf for the jug of milk and grabbed it out, tipping it back. Usually, Julie was around to complain, which didn't matter much since she had her own milk, soy in fact, so she never had to use his. He missed her nagging all the same.

Putting the milk away, he licked his lips and frowned into the fridge. He finally grabbed out one of the plastic containers with cold chicken in it and closed the door. Taking a seat at the kitchen island, he rubbed the heel of his hand into his eye as he gnawed on a chicken leg and looked around. He and Billy had finished up the house some four years ago and it was pretty damn awesome if he did say so himself. He'd come a long way, he figured, and managed to get some of those dreams he always wanted. Texas forever being a big one. Didn't turn out quite the way he expected, with Jason living in New York with Erin and Noah, no Lyla to be seen, but he couldn't say he wasn't happy. He and Streeter still talked, still got together when they could, and he wanted only the best for him. And truth was, all three of them were better off with how it went down.

Much as Tim always wanted this life, there was a part of him that didn't think he'd get it, didn't think he was worth it. And when things went down over the chop shop, he really started to think that was the end, no more second chances. Seemed Coach had one last one up his sleeve though. Or maybe two, even if he indirectly gave him Julie.

Having his land now, a house of his own, he'd come farther than he expected. But things weren't perfect and he knew it was his own fault.

He tossed the half-eaten leg back into the container and snapped the top back on before walking over to shove it into the fridge. He paused as he shut the door, staring at the grocery list hanging on the freezer by a magnet. In the two years he and Julie had been together, it was pretty obvious she had a big influence on him and his house. She spent so much time over that most of the stuff in the fridge was things she wanted or picked up. He read down the short list, spotting soy milk and those turkey sausages she liked.

He was tired, in that overtired, can't get back to sleep kind of way, which is what he blamed when he dragged on a pair of jeans and a plaid button-up before shoving his feet in his boots and grabbing the list off the fridge. He was still rubbing sleep from his eyes when he grabbed his wallet and keys off the table and walked out over the porch, the door snapping shut behind him as he climbed down the stairs to the dirt driveway. It was pitch black out as he made his way to his truck, climbing inside, the door creaking loud in the quiet. He rolled the window down as he pulled out of the driveway, the wheels spitting up dirt and gravel.

The breeze was nice as he took his time driving into town and slowly, he started to wake up more. There weren't many places awake and open so late at night, but he dropped by the twenty-four hour store all the same, cutting the engine and climbing out, eyeing the guy at the check-out counter, half asleep with his head in his hand, watching a beat-up television.

As Tim walked inside, a bell ringing as he passed through the door, he waved his fingers vaguely at the guy, who gave him a disinterested nod back. Digging the list out, he grabbed up one of the baskets and started walking up and down the aisles. The prices were higher than a regular grocery store and he wondered briefly how much cash he had on him. Splitting the bills with Julie had helped though, there wasn't so much pressure on just him to make ends meet.

That was the thing though. He grabbed her favorite cereal off the shelf and dropped it in the basket before moving on to the coffee. Julie had an apartment a few blocks from the paper she worked at. It was a nice place, clean, respectable, but she spent most of her time with him. Except for the times they got into a spat, she basically lived with him. Which is why she brought it up to him that it would make more sense to quit renting her apartment and just make things permanent.

Red flags went flying, though. Wasn't that he thought it was a bad idea, he just… He'd been burned enough times in his life to know that when they got good, it meant the shit was about to hit the fan. And when it came to women, he just plain had bad luck. He spent too many years being not good enough, trying and failing, trying to be someone he wasn't, holding onto people who just wanted to let him go. He and Julie had a good thing going; they were happy. She didn't push him to be different, she just let him be. Sometimes he looked at her and he thought he'd really done it, he'd hit the jackpot. He got that life he saw Coach living with his wife. Found that woman that just _got _him.

Didn't mean they were perfect; Julie had a short temper sometimes, she could get riled over anything. She was always looking for a cause to take up, an underdog to root for, and with her writing, going against the grain like she did, she found her fair share of frustrations. When she came home, sometimes she was just looking for a fight, someone to yell at, and he let her. Let her yell and pace until she was blue in the face. But when Julie wanted a fight, she wanted him to act the same, and he tended to shut down and shut up when he felt an argument stirring. The things the rest of Dillon thought or did, that her editor said to keep her from publishing something that the town wouldn't agree with, those weren't things he would stand up for, but he wasn't her personal punching bag either. So he let her work her steam off and when she was done, he calmed her down, talked it over, asked her what she wanted to do, and they got through it.

Unless it was a big one, and they'd had a few of those too. She'd head back to her apartment and he'd drive out to the cliffs to hit beer cans off the edge. A few days would pass though, and one or both of them would apologize. He'd grown up from who he was as a teenager, sleeping around with rally girls or getting self-destructive when things didn't pan out. Julie was it for him and he wasn't messing it up, not intentionally anyway.

He loved Julie. Probably since that day he found her in the parking lot, kicking her car. It was everyone before her that had him second guessing things. When he woke up in the morning, he was used to her being there. Used to her tangle of hair wrapped around his fingers and her wrinkled nose when the alarm went off, groaning and burying her face in the pillow, wanting to put off morning as long as she could. He liked that. He liked knowing that when he went to sleep, when he woke up, when he got home, she'd be there. He got used to seeing her car parked there next to his or her books stacked on the shelf next to his much smaller, Steinbeck-heavy collection. Truth was, his home was already hers, they just hadn't signed off on it yet. It was that last step of putting himself out there and trusting he wouldn't get wrecked over her that was holding him back.

"Hey, you got a meat section?" Tim called to the guy at the front.

He sighed, stood up from his stool, and then pointed his hand down and his thumb to the right.

Making his way through the aisles to where he'd pointed, Tim found the freezer and started digging. He checked the expiration date on everything, just to be sure, and eventually found the turkey sausages she liked, a pack of chicken breasts, and grabbed a pound of hamburger too. He smiled to himself as he looked down at the assortment.

_"I'm home," she called, the front door closing behind her. "Where are you?"_

_"Out back," he shouted after her. "I got the barbecue going."_

_"You want a refill while I'm in here?"_

_He grabbed up his near empty bottle of beer and finished it off. "Yeah, thanks."_

_The screen door swung open as she came out, a beer dangling from one hand as she crossed the deck toward him._

_"Hey," he said, taking the beer from her and bending to kiss her hello._

_"Hi," she said, leaning up to meet his lips. _

_She laughed as he wrapped his arms around her, slanting his mouth and nipping at her bottom lip in a lingering kiss. It wasn't until his cold beer was seeping through her shirt that she jumped and pulled away. _

_He grinned down at her and used his shirt to twist the cap off. "How's work?" he asked, dropping the beer down on a table next to him as he took a seat and patted his leg._

_Rolling her eyes but smiling all the same, Julie climbed into his lap, her arm looped behind his head while his wrapped loose around her waist. "Good. Long." She scrubbed her fingers through his hair, dragging it out of his eyes. "How about you?"_

_He leaned his head back to look up at her, mouth curled at the corners. "Good. Long," he reiterated._

_"Uh-huh…" She nodded, tucking his hair behind his ear and tracing it with her thumb. "You get lunch with Billy?"_

_He nodded. "Yeah, he called me up. Went to Applebee's." Teasingly, he said, "Service ain't the same without you."_

_She snorted. "I bet."_

_He grinned._

_She stared down at him, eyes flickering over his face a long minute, before finally she bent and nuzzled her nose against his temple. "How's Billy then?" she wondered softly._

_"Same." He squeezed her hip before letting his hand wander down her thigh. "Kids're drivin' him nuts, Mindy's on his ass about something or other, coaching with your dad's got him stressed for the season."_

_She hummed. "You guys are going fishing this weekend?" she wondered._

_"Thinkin' about it."_

_"It'll be good," she said, nodding. "Maybe I'll see if Mindy wants to get together, we can take the kids out…" She smiled. "If mom's not busy, her and Gracie Belle can come too."_

_"Sounds fun," he said. "And loud."_

_She laughed. "Yeah, well, you enjoy your peace out on the lake." She turned so her back was against his chest and he rubbed his hand up and down her arm, fingers circling her elbow before sliding down to trace her wrist._

_He closed his eyes for a minute and just enjoyed it, the warm weight of her against him, the sizzling of the barbecue, the scent of her shampoo. _

_"What're you cooking?" she wondered._

_"Steak," he said. "And those turkey sausages you like."_

_"Yeah?" she asked, her voice raising happily._

_"Yeah," he said, pressing his lips to her shoulder._

_She looked at him from the corner of her eyes. "They're on the other side of the grill, right?" Her nose wrinkled. "Not touching your dead cow."_

_Amused, he half-grinned at her. "Yeah, and I cleaned the grill beforehand too… Just for you."_

_She hummed, smiling. "My hero."_

_He chuckled, tugging on her hair. _

_She grunted, turning her head to bite his neck playfully._

_He smiled. "You get your messages? Coach called."_

_She slid her hand up his chest, playing with a button on his plaid shirt. "I'll call him back later… Did he say what it was about?"_

_"Probably just missing you." He grabbed his beer up and took a drag._

_"Hm." She stole his beer for a sip of her own before handing it back. "Well he can come along with me and Mom and Mindy then."_

_He snorted. "Yeah, I don't think that'll fly."_

_"No?" She grinned up at him. "Maybe you and Billy could take him out on the boat with you then. He likes fishing."_

_He smirked. "You trying to set me an' Coach up on a play-date, Jules?"_

_"Something like that," she said. Moving out of his lap, she walked over to the barbecue to check on their dinner. "Did you make a salad?" she wondered, turning her sausages over before checking his steak._

_"Whadda you think?" he asked, staring up at her, rocking his knee back and forth._

_She rolled her eyes before retaking her seat in his lap. "I think we need more vegetables in our diet." She leaned back against him and hugged his arm around his waist._

_"Yeah?" He rested his chin on her shoulder. "You think maybe you'd like to grow some?" He pointed his hand out, lifting a finger off the neck of his beer bottle to point. "You pick a place, Jules, and you can grow all the rabbit food you want."_

_She smiled. "And if I grow it, you'll eat it? Is that what you're saying?"_

_"Mm-hmm," he hummed, nodding. "Salad every night." He turned his head and gave her cheek a sloppy kiss. "What do you think?"_

_"I think…" She peered out over the open landscape. "There," she said, reaching up and directing his hand. "Right there is where the vegetable garden will go."_

_"Yeah?"_

_She nodded. "Yeah."_

_"Okay then." He kissed her hair before resting his cheek against her head, staring at the spot she'd picked out, creating an image in his head. He grinned to himself. There was gonna be a lot of salad in his future._

Tim skipped the vegetables, Julie grew most of them in the backyard, giving him a nice long speech on pesticides more than once and wearing a giant, floppy hat whenever she went out to her garden. She was cute as hell, too. Sometimes he just sat out on the deck and watched her, listening to her grumble about bugs and the heat. They had a pretty good garden and she was right, it tasted better fresh.

When he'd collected everything on her list, he made his way up to the counter.

"Little late for grocery shoppin', ain't it?" the guy asked, sighing as he turned to ring it all up.

"Couldn't sleep," he muttered, shrugging.

Smirking, the guy scoffed as he rang up the soy milk. "Yeah," he said, putting it in a bag. "Don't take you for a soy drinker…" He eyed him. "Wouldn't be the first guy in trouble with his girl and tryn'a make up for it."

Tim stared at him blankly, digging out his wallet and waiting for the total. Taking the bags in hand, he'd paid off his bill, gave the guy a nod and walked out, door jangling overhead as he went.

The streets of Dillon were dead, making driving easy. No traffic and no cops to call him on his speeding. He made his way home, arm hanging out the window, wind breezing through his fingers. The last time he was up this late, they were driving in from the Boise airport after Julie had flown back from a week spent visiting Tyra.

_She was smiling, her head resting on the window, eyes closed. "It was great out there. I forgot how bright and loud the city was," she told him. "Tyra said I had to do the touristy thing so we barely spent any time back at her apartment." _

_"Glad you had fun," he said, glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes._

_She hummed, stretching her legs out and resting her feet against his thigh, her shoes kicked off to the floor of the passenger seat. "I missed you though."_

_His mouth twitched up on one side. "Yeah?"_

_She opened her eyes to look at him. "Yeah," she said softly. "Tyra asked about you, wanted to know how you were doing, if you were treating me right."_

_He laughed. "Bet she did."_

_Julie wiggled her toes against him. "I told her I was happy."_

_He stared at her a long moment. "You don't wish you were livin' out there? Bright lights, big city?"_

_She shook her head slowly. "No." She sat up and shuffled across the seat to lean into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. "I was walking around, looking at these things, and the whole time I just kept wondering what you were doing and if you remembered to water my garden."_

_He laughed, wrapping his arm around her. "I did."_

_She smiled up at him. "It was fun. It's nice to go down there, see Tyra, explore… But I like where I am." She hugged her arm around his waist. "This is home."_

_He brushed his fingers over her hair and nodded. "If you ever wanted to… Y'know, pack up, move back out there, try that whole thing out again… Tell me, all right?" He licked his lips, frowning out at the road. "You ever second guess it—"_

_"Hey," she interrupted, tipping her head back to see him. Seriously, she said, "No regrets."_

_He nodded, half-smiling. "All right."_

_And it was settled._

When he got home, he carried the groceries inside and dropped them on the island, not for the first time thinking that they should really get a dog. The house was too quiet. Wasn't like Julie was loud, really. She played her god-awful dance music sometimes, but she wasn't one for the TV. She tended to read her books, her feet in his lap, while he watched a game or ESPN or fishing. More than a few weekends, he'd head out on the lake with a fishing pole and she'd lie down in the boat, a stack of books with her to keep her occupied. There'd be nothing but the rocking of the boat, the water lapping at the edges, and the sound of him fiddling with the reel or cracking open a beer. It was peaceful, easy. Julie would turn a page every few minutes, sometimes read a passage out loud for him to hear, but otherwise leave him to his fishing.

Billy used to say women were loud even when their mouths were shut, like just their presence filled up all the space, every corner of every room. Julie was like that. She was loud even when she was quiet. She was always thinking, first of all. How he landed someone as smart as her he sometimes wondered. But it was also about how it felt when she was around, like she didn't just fill up space physically but mentally. She took up space in his head, carving out a place for herself in everything he did, everywhere he went. She didn't even have to be around and she still resonated with him.

_"You got it bad, little brother," Billy laughed, shaking his head._

_Tim frowned, brows furrowed. "What?"_

_"You and Little Taylor…" He nodded. "You're in deep. She caught you; hook, line, and sinker."_

_"You say that like a bad thing, but you're the one wearin' a wedding band, brother." He leaned back in his chair, rapping his knuckles on the table. _

_"I'm just sayin'…" He whistled. "Don't get me wrong. Julie's a good girl. Just thought you'd put up a bigger fight is all."_

_He scowled. "Fight?"_

_"You don't get tangled up with someone like Julie Taylor and not expect you're gonna fall into line…" He waved a hand around his house. "Marriage, kids, mortgage, whole damn thing."_

_Tim laughed, raising an eyebrow. "We've only been together a few months, Billy. You already got me married off?"_

_"You'll see," he said, grabbing up his beer. "I've seen that look before, in the mirror, when me and Mindy got it together."_

_He hummed, leaning back in his chair thoughtfully._

_Should've worried him some, the idea of him and Julie going that far._

_They heard laughter then and the front door swung open as Julie and Mindy walked in, a twin holding onto each of their hands. _

_"Back already, baby?" Billy said, turning his head toward his wife._

_"Well, somebody's kids were missing their daddy," she replied. _

_Julie joined them as they all grouped in the kitchen, circling Mindy and the kids to see Tim._

_He reached for her, his hand sliding over the small of her back. "You have fun at the park, Little Taylor?" he asked._

_She raised an eyebrow. "First one down the slide," she replied._

_"No monkey bars?" He tugged her belt loop until she got the message and sat in his lap. "You're missing out."_

_She smiled up at him, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Well, me and Mindy tried out the see-saw, but there's something about parents looking at you like you're crazy that makes you feel undignified." _

_"Yeah?" He squeezed her waist. "What do they know, right?"_

_"Right," she said, nodding._

_"You guys stayin' for dinner?" Mindy wondered, drawing their attention._

_"I'm up for that," Julie said, turning to look at Tim._

_"Sounds good," he said._

_Julie looked back at her. "You need help, Mindy?"_

_"Not gonna turn down a helping hand," she agreed._

_She climbed off his lap, pursing her lips back at him as he gave her ass a playful slap. _

_While she walked off to join Mindy, Tim watched her a long moment, seeing her smile and joke and laugh, tucking her hair behind her ears as she nodded to whatever Mindy was saying. She looked down as one of the twins leaned against her leg and brushed her hands over his hair affectionately._

_He was drawn out of his thoughts when Billy knocked the neck of his beer bottle with Tim's. "In deep," he said, arching his eyebrows meaningfully._

_Tim glanced back at Julie, who caught him and smiled. _

_Maybe deep wasn't the worst thing to be._

Putting away the groceries didn't take long; everything had a certain place it went that he'd just sort of picked up on over time. He tossed the shopping list in the garbage before looking around and frowning. It was still late, or early, at just about five. He could go back to bed, he knew, but there was something about climbing into an empty bed that just wasn't appealing.

The first time Julie stayed over they'd stayed up late watching movies, eating half-veggie, half meat-lover's pizza, and buzzed on beer. They'd spent most of the night making out on the couch, her shirt tossed somewhere and his unbuttoned. They didn't even have sex that night, just climbed into bed and fell asleep in between that quiet talking, whispering even though they were the only ones in the house, and for miles all around them.

She'd been so damn beautiful, lit up by pale moonlight, smiling up at him, her head balanced in the crook of his arm. He couldn't remember what they talked about, nothing in particular he figured, just random, pointless stuff. They'd fallen asleep mid-conversation, her face pressed to his chest, her fingers splayed out over his stomach, his hand buried in her hair. He'd been falling asleep like that since. Whatever she was reading always on the left bedside table, bookmarked, her body pressed into his side, curving around him, legs tangled, skin against skin.

He wandered around the house, eyes bouncing off the furniture they'd picked together, aside from a few pieces he moved in with. They'd replaced his first couch, it was old, ratty, and a loose spring always dug into his back when he laid on it. Julie always kept a throw blanket on the new one; she said the leather was cold. He couldn't count how many times he found her curled up on the couch, blanket over her lap, going over her notes for work or reading a book. On really cold nights, she'd break out one of her big sweaters. The same ones she wore to game nights, cheering on Coach's East Dillon Lions.

He took a seat on the couch, the light from the kitchen spilling into the living room a little. He tugged the thrown blanket over and fiddled with it.

Sometimes it didn't feel like high school was so long ago. Like rejection and all of his relationship problems hadn't ended four years ago. The two years after he got his house and before he met Julie again, he'd been content. He dated around a bit, but he was more focused on building the house with Billy and making something of his life. Prison had put things into clarity and he'd had enough of making the wrong choices. When Julie came along, he was in a place where he felt clear-headed, like he was ready to be in a relationship and wouldn't screw it up somehow.

Arms crossed over his chest, he leaned back against the coach and really thought about it. About how far he and Julie had come, how much farther he wanted them to go, and what he really wanted out of all of it. Where he saw himself five, ten, twenty years down the road. The answer didn't really surprise him.

Standing up from the couch, he grabbed up his keys again and walked out. The sun was starting to rise as he drove through the town, which was slowly coming awake. There were a few people on the road when he pulled into the visitor parking lot. He passed a neighbor of hers he recognized as he used the key she'd given him a year ago to get into the building, climbing to the third floor and walking down the hall to her door.

She wouldn't be up for a while yet, seeing as it was her day off. He unlocked the door and made his way through her dark apartment, feeling around until he got to her bedroom. He'd spent a lot of time at her place in the beginning of their relationship, but she was right, in the last year, they'd spent the majority of their time at his house. Just made sense, he figured.

She was lying on her stomach, sprawled sideways over her bed, pillow hugged under her head.

"Jules," he whispered. "Hey, Julie…" He bent by her bed, reaching across to shake her shoulder. "Wake up."

She grunted, muttering under her breath, and buried herself deeper against her pillow.

"Julie, c'mon."

"G'way," she said, her voice muffled.

"Can't. Need to talk to you."

She hummed, long and heavy. Finally lifting her head, her hair a tangled mess and her eyes still closed, she wondered, "Time's it?"

"Early."

Sighing, she let her head fall back on the pillow. "What're you doin' here?" she mumbled.

"Been thinking…" He sat down on the edge of her bed and stared down at the rat's nest of her hair, his lips twitching with amusement.

Clearing his throat, he dragged a hand over his mouth. "You remember back in that first year with Coach?"

She hummed.

"Street got hurt and we were all just tryin' to pull our weight, keep it together…" He licked his lips. "I didn't take it too well… Started messin' up, couldn't keep it together on the field… Coach got on me, told me to get my head in the game, and I… I was ready to quit, y'know? Took off my helmet and walked off the field and I was just… done."

His jaw flexed and he frowned, turning to sit back against the bed, arms crossed over his chest. "Somethin' happened, I don't remember. Think Smash said something dumb to a reporter and Coach, he called this emergency meeting, right? So we all piled into the bus, took a drive out, and he got us running wind sprints in the rain, just up and down between a valley of hills, water up to our knees… It was rough, some of us were throwin' up, couldn't catch our breath… Coach, he looks at us and he says, 'Champions don't give up… Champions don't complain… Champions give 200%.'"

Julie turned her head and peered up at him quietly, looking wide awake.

"And I haven't been givin' you 200%, Jules… I've been waitin' for things to fall apart or blow up in my face… Happens enough, I just got used to it…" He licked his lips, his eyes falling. "But all those things that happened, people who hurt me or got hurt by me, they aren't you… Me and you, we got something…" He nodded. "I don't wanna make excuses anymore and I don't wanna give up…" He looked over at her. "I don't wanna lose you just 'cause I was stupid when I was younger… 'Cause I picked all the wrong people to fall in love with."

He swallowed tightly. "You're my family, Julie… We're a team, me and you… And everybody else, they don't get a say anymore. So whatever they did, all that… _fear _I got because of 'em, it doesn't get to change this. I'm not gonna let it stop us from… _being _us."

She readjusted her arm under her head and watched him a long minute. "Tim, I get why you're hesitant…" She pushed herself up to a seated position. "And I don't want to push us into something if you're not ready." Her brow furrowed. "I… I know what I _want_ with you. I know what I want for _us_, but if you're not ready then—"

"I'm ready," he interrupted, staring at her seriously, and giving her a nod. "You wanna move in, I want you to move in… Hell, you're practically already there anyway. Few more pictures, rest of your library, and we're set."

She rolled her eyes at him, mouth curved up in a smile. "You're sure you don't want some more time to think about it?" she wondered skeptically.

He blew out a sigh. "You want me to start packing you up right here?" He raised an eyebrow. "You're moving in. It'll be good."

Reaching for him, she knelt on the bed, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Not that I'm complaining, but did we need to have this conversation at five-thirty in the morning?"

He half-grinned. "Bed was empty, got lonely," he said.

She smiled slowly. "Missed me that much, huh?"

He reached up, brushing her hair back, feeling it tangle around his fingers, and tipped her head, their lips slanting together as he stared into her eyes. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks and she slid her hands down his chest, fisting his shirt. What started out as a slow kiss quickly got heated, their lips pressing together faster, harder, teeth gnashing, scraping.

He leaned her back on her bed and slid between her legs, he knees falling apart on either side of his hips.

* * *

The explicit part of this story was removed, because FFnet has rules on explicit material. Story with smut is posted on LJ or AO3.

* * *

She fell on top of him, arms giving out, and buried her head in his shoulder. He rubbed his hand up and down her back, eyes closed. Some of her hair fell over his face, sticking to his skin. It was a few minutes before they gathered their strength to separate. She rolled over onto her back and stretched her legs, toes reaching as far as they could. She hummed, smiling to herself.

He tucked his arm behind his head and just watched her, chewing her lip and combing her fingers through her hair.

Catching him, she grinned. "What?"

He shook his head, licked his lips. "'m gonna marry you one day," he said.

Her face cleared, eyebrows raised.

"I don't have a ring, so I'm not proposing… But one day I'm gonna get one and I'm really hopin' you'll say yes."

She swallowed tightly and let out a small laugh as she smiled. Turning onto her side, she reached for him, tucking his hair away, off his face. "You're sure this isn't sleep deprivation?"

He shook his head, reaching his arm out and gathering her in close. "'m not the kind of guy dad's give permission to… Figure Coach'll make me work for it." He stroked her hair lightly, his cheek pressed to her temple. "Maybe I'll run wind sprints, sun up to sun down…"

She rubbed her hand over his chest. "What about _my_ permission?"

He grinned. "You'll be easier to convince."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "You don't marry me, I'll just keep your vegetable garden hostage."

She laughed.

His fingers brushed her hair back from her neck before they stroked over her shoulder. "When I woke up tonight and you weren't there… didn't feel right…" He shook his head. "I love you, Jules… Maybe I don't always show it right, but… I think you're it for me."

Julie turned her head up to look at him. She rubbed her knuckles over his cheek and smiled. "I'll say yes," she told him. "When you ask."

His heart thumped in his chest. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "But for right now, I'm happy with just moving in."

He hummed, trailing his fingers down her back. "We'll get Billy to help out, move it over on the weekend if you want."

"I'll have to let the landlord know I'm leaving. Give him a month's warning. We can move everything over in the meantime, just means I'll have to pay next month's rent still."

He nodded.

"We have a lot of stuff to go through," she told him before yawning. "Furniture to pick from, and dishes."

His eyes started to droop. "Figure it out when we wake up."

She rubbed her face against his neck. "Work?"

"Got tomorrow off."

"Me too," she murmured.

"Guess we get to sleep in." He reached around her to drag the sheet around them and rubbed his hand down her back.

He fell asleep to the sound of her familiar snoring.

When he woke up a few hours later with her still in his arms, he grinned, falling back to sleep feeling like things were as they were supposed to be.

A little over a month later, she was all moved out of her apartment. There was some shifting around and replacing done, but eventually they managed to figure out what they'd use of hers, getting rid of some of his furniture. To Tim's thinking, it didn't seem any different. The house was the same except for a few more pictures on the walls and knick knacks on the shelves, some of her furniture taking over where his more used and abused once were. But for the most part, it was the same, _they _were the same. Home wasn't really the house so much as the people in it. And the right people were living there.

A year later, when Julie dug her hand into her gardening gloves, walking into the backyard with her floppy hat on and her hair braided, she paused.

He watched her, eyebrow raised, searching her face as she turned back around to face him. She drew her hand out from the glove, a ring circling the top of her knuckle. "Tim?"

"Last weekend, me an' Coach had a long talk… I don't think I've ever done so many drills in my life…" He pushed up off his chair and ambled down the stairs to the yard, hands on his hips as he went. "When I figured out what I wanted out of life, it didn't get much past owning my own house and living large in Texas… I wasn't expecting you; not sure I was expecting anyone to wanna stick around with me." He reached for her, burying a hand in her hair, his thumb rubbing her cheek. "I want us, Jules. Twenty, thirty, _fifty_ years from now, I want us."

She looked up at him and slid the ring down the rest of her finger. Nodding, she smiled brightly, and answered, "Yes." She laughed. "_Yes!_"

He grabbed her up by her waist and hauled her into a hug, burying his face in her neck as he grinned so wide it hurt. He twirled her around, her hat falling off from the sudden movement, making her laugh louder, her legs looping around his waist for balance.

Tim didn't let her down for a while, closing his eyes and soaking it in. Now, he could honestly say rejection was a memory. Not being good enough was in the past. And all of it, even though it almost kept him from getting this, from being here, with her, it was what it was.

No regrets. Not one. 'Cause in the end, he got it all.

[**End**.]


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